dreesemonkey . com

Amusing myself in front of the internet

Since I haven’t posted in a long time, I thought I’d at least link to the temporary wedding website, full (not full at all) of useful wedding facts and information.  Also, if you haven’t sent me your address yet - please do so!

www.danandamberwedding.com

Why America hates Ron Paul

January 31st, 2008

rp

America isn’t ready for Ron Paul, the only presidential candidate/politician that has gotten me to give two lumps of brown about anything political.

Collectively, America is a bunch of fat people riding around in 10-MPG Chevy Tahoes stopping at McDonald’s before they go home to their 3000 sq. ft. homes and $1700 mortgage payments.

The same reason American’s personal finances are in the toilet (neighbor to my usual interest in politics), is the same reason our country is up creek-de-la-poop without a 6.1l HEMI. It’s the American dream to own a home with two new cars in the driveway, and your apparently partially-Siamese 2.5 children. The problem is, everyone is in such a hurry to get their piece of the freaking pie they beg, borrow and deal-or-no-deal their way into financial Hades.

But no matter, average citizen! Everyone does it, have a get out of stupid free card and bankrupt your worries away! It’s the lenders fault for making you sign that mortgage you had no business even looking at. And heaven forbid you drive a car that is more than a few years old! Screw that $10,000 Camry that will live longer than you, that 2008 Lexus IS350 is calling your name!

On the government side it’s the same way. We’re the all-powerful United States, we can merely whisper it’s name and the dollar comes running, let’s make more so we can be the first nation to have a Quintillionaire, that’ll show those damn oil-baron types! We’re spending money we don’t have because we’re too arrogant/selfish/childish to think before we do.

Ron Paul is to government what Dave Ramsey is to personal finance: Not an idiot. It’s no wonder I’ve gone all dreamy eyes towards the 72 year old OBGYN, since getting my personal finances straightened out it’s not far of a leap to expect the people running the country to try some financial accountability.

Are we heading into a recession? Some argue yes, others argue no. All I know is the dollar is worth “about 3 buttons in Mexico” (one of my favorite personal phrases) and things don’t look to get any better if we continue on this slide. Joe G. American doesn’t care how much credit card debt he has, and he doesn’t care what is happening to our nation because we’re spending money we don’t have. Not only are we going broke, but our foreign image is shot from spending trillions (apparently literally) to police the world.

Make sure you save some space in that handbasket for sun screen, I hear we’re going somewhere warm.

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2007 was a pretty good year, 2008 has another thing coming if it thinks it’s going to somehow waltz into my life and sweep me off my feet. I guess it’s possible, but I’ll need to be wined and dined first.

I’m reminded that my car becomes a teenager (the big one-three) this year! Let’s hope the usual teenage rebellion doesn’t kick in and it keeps on running well for me. Someone gave it an early birthday present by taking my CDs, CD player faceplate, and change from it on Saturday night. I can’t be too mad because I’m the poo-poo-brain that left the doors unlocked, but that’s hardly an open invitation to violate my car.  At least the poor suckers left my brand new floormats.  What idiots!

I made another big financial step today as well. I filled out the paperwork to stop voluntary contribution to my retirement through work, instead that ‘extra’ money is going to be placed in a Roth IRA account so many moons down the road I can say gimme gimme and the delicious, delicious principal-plus-compounded-interest will be mine mine mine, tax free free free (yes, blogging in a cave over here). By the end of the month I hope to have the account set up, kicking names and taking ass.

I don’t really have any resolutions this year per-se. To be honest it’s just something else that I’ll never get around to doing and then feel bad about when I write my “2009: the one after 2008 and 2007″ blog for next year. I’d like to get into some better shape and eat better, but “meh”.  I’ve found it’s much easier to do the opposite of those things.  One thing I will probably be concentrating on, taking Bonertown, my town in Sim City 4 to new levels of nerd-dom!

Stuff for 12/3/2007

December 3rd, 2007

Could it by my long lost brother?

I call shenanigans.

Tricky tricky, football guys.

Goodbye and good riddance

November 28th, 2007

November 26th, 2007 marks a important day in my adult life, it’s the day that I’ve become debt free. Sick of the last $617 of my motorcycle loan looming over my head, I skipped ahead a month and transferred some money from savings and that’s all she wrote.

After it was all said and done, I’ve paid off around $9700 (motorcycle and remainder of student loan) this year after reading the Dave Ramsey book. There were some nice financial boosts along the way with the arrival of Matt to the apartment ($700) and the silver-lining story of the year with my motorcycle getting knocked over ($1100). Most of all, I can thank motivation and not spending unnecessary money on eating out or the usual toys.

I look forward to a few months down the road when the holiday hoopla has ended and I can finally see the benefits of my hard work - A healthy savings account for who knows what, right Amber?

Bear Grylls is a crazy mofo

November 24th, 2007

imageI was watching some TV today and there seems to be some sort of self-induced pain marathon of Man vs Wild. So far he’s gone to Australia and drank his own pee, gone to Iceland and waded through a stream when it was -10F with 50mph winds. Oh yea, did I mention that he took his jacket off to do that so his top-half-clothing wouldn’t get wet? My balls are still in my stomach just thinking about it.

Seeing the preview for the current episode I’m watching - the Sahara, he’s paling around with some nomads (that speak French oddly enough) who teach him to survive.  Things to look forward to? Eating goats balls, hollowing out a camel as shelter, and squeezing the dead camel crap to strain out the water. Into his mouth. Yum.

While I’ve heard that on some shows he doesn’t actually sleep in the mountains as we’d be lead to believe, but any dude who drinks crap water and eats goats balls gets some ever-sought-after “dreesemonkey props.”

EnviroMission

November 16th, 2007

While nothing seems to annoy me more than hemp-wearing vegan stink-mongers, I have to admit that new kinds of technology to develop power without creating greenhouse gases - is pretty awesome. I love the idea of an electric car or motorcycle, though the issue then is if everyone is then driving electric cars, where is the electricity going to come from? Usually that means burning coal or something similar to make power, which doesn’t help the pollution aspect at all.

Some smart people out there are looking for ways to generate ‘free’ power, like various solar technologies. Solar panels are nothing new to me, but from watching a recent Modern Marvels show on tv I saw a really cool proposed technology.

The company is EnviroMission and they a proposing a large solar tower. What is a solar tower you ask? Luckily I have a video right here for you.

bonds327Today Barry Bonds was indicted by a federal grand jury for perjury and obstruction of justice. Apparently there is solid evidence of Bonds using steroids, including failed drug tests which is exactly what baseball and Henry Aaron have been looking for to this point.

I never really cared about the whole steroids controversy until now. You’d have to be super-naive to think Bonds is the only player to have done anything performance-enhancing in their careers. Now everything is thrown out the window, there is apparently hard evidence against the alleged all time home run king.

To a point, I still don’t care other than the fact that it has huge implications to baseball and the sporting world. I thought Bonds was hated before when everyone thought he was on steroids, I can’t imagine the situation now. Logically it seems that the Giants may have known this was coming since they didn’t make any effort to re-sign Bonds after the season ended.

I’m sick of high gas prices, and I’m riding my motorcycle around that gets 60+mpg. What the crap happened to the days where gas was under $1/gallon?

I want one of these!

a_schula2_i

Don Shula, the legendary coach of the undefeated 1972 Dolphins, seems to have his white, green and orange women’s undergarments in a twist. When asked how he felt if the Patriots were to go unbeaten, Shula channeled his inner tantrum-prone 6 year old and whined about how their season should have the ever-infamous asterisk for being Cheaty McCheatertons.

First of all, every NFL team is trying to find ways to get the upper hand over their opponents, whether it be sporting or not. The Patriots got caught cheating, since stopped, and have had their way with 8 teams since. Anyone thinking the Patriots are the only team that has ever done some shady dealings this day and age are very naive, and should return back to their tonka trucks while the adults talk.

Watching PTI last night, they were quick to say that Shula was one of the best NFL coaches ever, and to hear him make these statements was bold. Funny how earlier in the season Mike Ditka (another of the greatest NFL coaches) said the whole scandal was overblown because the actual usefulness of taping the defense play calling was not for real-time game decisions. I think I’ll listen to the man who won a superbowl as a player AND a coach, thank you very much.

Shula should stop acting like a child because there is another team that might go unbeaten as well. For him to complain about the spygate scandal is a bit hypocritical. To think that his tenure as a coach in the NFL (during the 70s, no less) was completely genuine and fair without ever getting any sort of competitive advantage over his opponents, is ridiculous and naive.

I’m not even convinced that the Patriots are going to go undefeated this season, so the petty finger pointing is very sad. I would find it hard to believe that the Patriots would keep all their starters playing at the end of the season when the playoffs, if not home field advantage, may be all but wrapped up.